respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Randomize
