So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Randomize
