Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
