I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
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