that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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