Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
