By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Randomize
