Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
it was like eating out sand paper
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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