Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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