Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
