Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
