I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
You have to summon your inner elephant
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
