Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Dick very happy bro
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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