YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
