my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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