no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
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