how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
