I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
