my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Randomize
