she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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