i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
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