You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
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