Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Randomize
