Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
