I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
