she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
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i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
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Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
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