i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Is it penis luge time yet?
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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