I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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