so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
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