better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
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