Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
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