If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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