Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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