There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
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