So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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