He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
40s are totally the cure
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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