I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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