Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
