yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
try to milk me bitch
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
