Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I need moral support for this bender
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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