the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
