my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Randomize
