I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
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I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
So here I am, sexting at work.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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