there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
