Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
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In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
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Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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