Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
