my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
