weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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