Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
