the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
