I think I am morally bankrupt
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Randomize
