you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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