it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
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