it wasn't lemon gatorade
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
