soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
and she was petting her beer can
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
