I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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