I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
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