i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
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