I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Still dying that you shit outside
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize