I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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