Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
