Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
